i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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