Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
