For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
