Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
