I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
