she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
