So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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