this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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