Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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