STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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