What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
