He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
