are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
