At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize