to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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