I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
