His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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