Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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