Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
