i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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