I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
ttyl tear gas
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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