Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
