Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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