did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i dont even know how to be here
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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