me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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