Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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