Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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