Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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