You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He has the fingertips of a God
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