it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
