I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
