What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
