Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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