Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
two words: eviction party
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
