But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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