Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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