I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize