my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
