does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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