he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
