weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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