no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize