Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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