I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
