4 words: hood of his car
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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