Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
