drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
