There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize