it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
