I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
