i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
