I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
