I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
