shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize