At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
