That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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