He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
