Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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