Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
