So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
