brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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